Some Words Bounce Off

Today I had that most dreaded of all experiences, the famous employer “performance evaluation”. Honestly, it’s more of a caricature of a “real" evaluation, since I’ve worked for the same major employer for many years, & moved to different positions within it along the way. So, basically, I’d have to shoot someone (or at least, threaten to) in order to get fired at this point. Still, my boss is pretty new at this “boss” game, so he is taking it all very seriously.

Today’s meeting was a bit anxiety-provoking for me, because he sorta blind-sided me last year. During last year’s face-to-face meeting, he was all smiles & sunshine; but then, in his written evaluation (the OFFICIAL one), he torpedoed me big time! I was shaken by this, because nothing like it had ever happened during my entire career! At the time, I felt I had to respond to the issues he had immortalized in writing, since they became part of my permanent employment record. So I wrote a rebuttal to each issue & presented proof of my statements. After that, never heard another word about it...

Not the best experience, I acknowledge, so I was somewhat apprehensive about whether today would be a repeat performance. Lost some sleep about it, in fact. Didn’t put me in the best humor this morning when trying to 1) feed the dogs, 2) dress professionally, 3) feed the rabbit, 4) feed the sheep) & 5) make it to work on time without breaking any speed laws (didn’t QUITE manage that one!).

Prior to the meeting, I took a moment to stop & address my jangly nerves. The truth is, I DON’T find my identity in what I do, but in Whom I serve. I may work for my employer, & I try very hard to earn my wages & maintain high work standards, but I SERVE the Lord God Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth. There’s a BIG difference there! Suddenly, those little butterflies in my stomach flew right away (bye, bye, flutter-bys!). I even ate pizza for lunch (not something I would do if I was stressed!)!

Well, I got a good face-to-face again. But, who knows? I may get submarined again, ya never know! The big diff is, now I’m PAST my little “identity crisis”, I’m reminded of Whom I serve, & I derive my worth from Him, not from some human being and their opinion of me.

I’ll sleep pretty good tonight. How about you?

I’ve been hearing voices telling me that
I can never be what I wanna be.
Reviling me with lies,
Haunting me at night,
And say “There’s nothing to believe”.

Somewhere in the quietness,
When I’m overcome with loneliness,
I hear You call my name.
And like a Father, You are near,
And as I listen, I can hear You say,

“You are a child of Mine,
Born of My own design,
And you bear the heart of life!
No matter where you go,
Oh, you will always know
You’ve been made free in Christ!
You are a child of Mine!”

So I listen as You tell me who I am
And who it is I’m gonna be.
And I hang on every word,
Knowing I have heard
I am Yours, and I am free!
But when I am alone at night,
That is when I hear the lie,
“You’ll never be enough”.
I know I’m givin’ into fear,
If I listen I can hear You say,

“You are a child of Mine,
Born of My own design,
And you bear the heart of life!
No matter where you go,
Oh, you will always know
You’ve been made free in Christ!
You are a child of Mine!

“I am calling! I am calling! I am calling!
I am calling! I am calling! I am calling!

“You are a child of Mine,
Born of My own design,
And you bear the heart of life!
No matter where you go,
Oh, you will always know
You’ve been made free in Christ!
You are a child of Mine!

“I am calling! I am calling! I am calling!
I am calling! I am calling! I am calling!

“No matter where you go,
Oh, you will always know
You’ve been made free in Christ!
You are a child of Mine!”

~~ “You Are A Child of Mine” by Mark Schultz (Album: “Stories & Songs”, 2003)